RANT

Still one of those people who feels emotional anxiety, physical exhaustion, and a general sense of being overwhelmed after a vulnerable interaction.  Particularly, when said interaction was in an unfamiliar environment,  with a loved one whom I have hurt. I am a fucking mess tonight!  I can't sleep my head is going 100 miles an... Continue Reading →

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Shame

There is no shame and/or guilt compared to a parent who fucked up with their children.  I could write a book on the numerous failures of raising my children.  It is only until you mess up your own children do you forgive your parents, and the cycle continues.  Believe me, your children will blame you... Continue Reading →

3 Vasectomies Later

I wonder if my mother has died yet.  How can someone survive so long in hospice?  They say you die how you lived,  well she was a miserable person,  therefore she will die a miserable death.  My only regret, not asking her the truth about who my real father is. Is he the one on... Continue Reading →

Hope

Found myself enjoying the sound of christmas music today.  What the hell is going on? I was looking at wreaths, smiling, and shopping.  To be honest, I am so excited about christmas this year.  Excited most of all to be emotionally, mentally and physically present for my loved ones.  I have been in a very... Continue Reading →

Perpetrator

Long story short... I use to be married to a pastor! He died of a heart attack brought on from a relapse of cocaine... But that is a whole other blog. Don't stop reading this!! I no longer am associated with the church. However, I do have this belief in something, call it God, call... Continue Reading →

The sky is falling!

All of a sudden the proverbial train stopped,  and I am just sitting here and in front of me is all this trauma.  I got in a fight with my cupboard this morning, well really,  I was pretending like the cupboard was my dead ex husband, I won the fight... then ended up having to... Continue Reading →

Deep thoughts…

No idea if anyone in the universe is reading this blog and to be honest, it really doesn't matter.  After writing in this forum I release these emotions from my head, and onto to this fucking blog (frozen-holding-place) and I can breathe a little better. The depression has lifted or so I thought until this... Continue Reading →

Trailer Park Trash

I was born in a trailer park in Norwich, Connecticut. Not the most impressive birth place but, an appropriate start to an inappropriate life. My mother was a high school dropout who ran off and married a sailor at fifteen, the only worldly wisdom she had to offer was based on an ideology centered around... Continue Reading →

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