Karma, I call bullshit

Where did I park my truck?  I just continued to drive the motorized shopping cart around the Wal-Mart parking lot,  4 degrees outside,  the wheels keep getting stuck in the snow.  My foot is still throbbing from last night’s dresser drawer injury, where is my fucking truck!  Screw it, I am not going to find it, I give up.  I will just sit here and give up. And then there it was,  my truck,  right in front of me,  I bet I passed it a couple of times but, I was all caught up in my head to “see it”.

Karma is a bitch.  Everyone says it, because we all want to believe other people will get their karma but, nobody wants it for themselves.  How do you know when you are getting your karma?  I heard someone say, maybe you’re getting your karma today.  So how would you know if you were getting said karma.

Yesterday while taking a pair of socks out of my husbands dresser,  the drawer fell out and smashed the top of my foot.  I was running late to a doctor appointment, screamed in a pillow for 5 minutes,  could not tie my shoe, ran around all day,  foot throbbing, the top of it has a contusion but not swollen,  so I did not think it was broken.  By last night I could not walk on it, my husband laughed because he told me to stop getting into his socks. Karma.  Note: these are women/men socks, ankle Lol…  Also, he wanted me to go to urgent care,  he thought it was broke. I said it is not broke.  I went to bed early because the pain was so bad I could not stand it, and I did not want to admit it to him.  When I turned my foot to take my (his lol)sock off I noticed the swelling under my foot, I knew then I broke my fucking foot.  So I was up at 4:30a.m. with husband ready to head out the door to urgent care.

Before we could get out of our driveway my phone rang, my eldest daughter was hysterical her boyfriend had beat her up, she was sobbing and pleading for us to come and get her and my granddaughter.  We live 4 minutes away from her, and were there in 2 minutes… They live in a home with a locked fence with a live wire, the fence was locked.  We could see him in the house, we do not involve the police.  This is a big no, no where we come from.  Our biggest concern is getting the baby out of the home, my husband calls, give me my granddaughter and my step daughter.  I am like, holy shit. It’s like a hostage situation.  Mind you, my husband is a weight lifter and looks intimidating but really a big sweet heart.  So, my daughter got her car out, and we get her out, grand baby out, they are safe at our home, we are headed to urgent care.  By the time we got done at urgent care my daughter was back home with her boyfriend! We just told her we loved her and she can come home anytime.  Heartbreaking.

After we were done at urgent care, I took my son to his outpatient partial hospitalization program.  My son’s car broke down the night before and we needed to make sure he was dropped off and picked up today. We will deal with what is wrong with his car later tomorrow.

Then last but not least is my youngest, she lost her food stamp card in the snow last night.  Whenever we hang onto things for her, she will argue with us until we give these things back, only for her to lose them again.   She called last night sobbing,  I am stupid, I give up, “who does this sound like”, I can’t do anything right, I have to feed my baby, it is christmas, sobbing.  I say, everything is going to be alright.  It is alright.  You are not stupid.  Call and cancel and order a new card.  I know what to do, I have the numbers on speed dial.   She has a 3 month old baby, she is only 22 years old doing it all alone.  Its ok. Its ok…

After I dropped my son off I picked up my youngest and my grandson,  then we headed to Wal-Mart to get them some groceries.   It was then when I decided to drive a motorized shopping cart for the first time around Wal-Mart and entertain my 3 month old grandson. My foot is throbbing, my heart is hurting, this baby is smiling, he is so cute.

Back to karma,  I go over all these situations with my kids for example,  being beaten and having such low self-worth to run back to your abuser.   I can’t say its your karma to be beaten…and if you said it, I would punch you!  She is so fragile, just beaten down, like a wounded animal.  I call bullshit on saying it is her karma.  Then my son and his car, nope, poor kid had been being hit one after the other, suicidal, hospitalized, father died of overdose, just too much.  I call bullshit on karma too.  And finally, the youngest and baby, she is mentally ill as well as the rest, lost her father to an overdose, new mom and hell no, I call bullshit on karma.

I got my karma for getting in the sock drawer. LOL.


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