Fight or Flight with some road rage…

Some days are easy,  I can stay in my home and not have to venture into the outside world and deal with people.  Then are those days where I have to be a grownup, 51 years old, I still hate being a grownup…  People are just fucking assholes!!  Today is one of the exceptional people asshole days!  Really the whole last week has been challenging, no wait, the whole last year has been challenging,  no WAIT, who am I kidding,  the last 45 years have been challenging!

Let’s see,  last week one of my children had a nervous breakdown and became a danger to themself and others.  It was by no means a bad situation.  Sound strange?  Truth is my child needed to break… I wrote some details about them witnessing their father being shot at the age of 5 years old, then just a year ago their father died of a heroin overdose.   This is my kid who has NEVER been hospitalized for psychiatric reasons, honors student, independent, reliable, always holds shit together and they fell the fuck apart.  It was time to break and it was on their father’s birthday no less.

Then the eldest child, she is a beauty to be hold, but it has been a curse.  She spent over 5 years in a horrible women’s prison for crimes she committed at the age of 17.  Not unlike myself, my eldest does not care to deal with people on the daily.   However, she has built a make shift prison of her home.   The house has cameras outside and inside with a television in a room playing at all times so she can see who is approaching.   Additionally, the property is surrounded by a locked chain link fence with a “live electric wire”.   You are unable to get into the driveway therefore, have to call ahead of time if you want to visit. Inside of this make shift prison, is little Addison, my 3-year-old granddaughter who has a rare chromosome disorder.

And last but not least, there is my baby,  well she is a young adult,  with a new-born who is cranky as hell this week.  She has always struggled with mental illness therefore, I would not have blinked an eye if she needed to be hospitalized.  This kid is a single parent, mentally and physically exhausted, just dropped out of D.B.T therapy,  poor, no driver’s license and I feel like at times I am her only means of emotional support. She has an explosive temper and over the year it has gotten better however, nowhere near enough to be stable.  I spend the majority of my time driving her to appointments, and helping her with household chores and with the baby.

On this particular day,  I brought my youngest daughter to my home to do her laundry.  After we were done,  we packed up baby and laundry in truck and headed out.  I needed to stop at Walgreen to pick up deodorant,  slippers and boot cuffs because they were CHEAP per the sunday ad that just came out.  In the Walgreen parking lot there is two lanes to get in with arrows, one for in and one for out!  I was in the correct lane, mind you,  I have a very large double cab Chevy Silverado, with a crying baby, full of clean laundry and a hot mess young momma in it.   A car started coming toward me and did not stop, the car started honking its horn, I was stuck between the building and another car.  I motion to the person in an attempt to explain in sign language that she is in the wrong lane and I can not move, I am trapped.  This crazy lady vers forward almost an inch from the front of my truck, jumps out and comes up to my window screaming at me to move.  I can see by the lights beaming into her car a child in her front seat, he is maybe 10 or 11, he looks horrified.   I freeze…

At some point during the altercation I attempted to explain to the irate woman that she was in the wrong lane and I was unable to move forward, backward or around her car. It was useless because she was screaming at the top of her lungs  and my daughter was in the back of my truck drowning out her screams.  And then it happened, my daughter got out of the truck… I froze completely.  The baby was screaming, his mom was in this lady’s face screaming and I was sure as shit that fists were going to start flying.  All I could hear is “leave my mom alone you fucking bitch, move your car, my baby is in the truck” and then I seen my daughter throw her phone at the woman’s car.  The women got back in her car, my daughter got back in my truck,  I finally had an opportunity to back up,  which I did,  and the police were on their way.  I left the situation and drove to the other side of Walgreen.  The road rage lady just continued to sit there waiting on the police.

My daughter said “take me and my baby home before the police get here, I don’t want to go to jail”.  I said “NO, we don’t run, she is the one who got out of her car and came at us”.  This is how fucked up I am.  I said “now you sit here in the truck with the baby and wait on the police while I run into Walgreen and do my shopping, if they come text me”.  So I shopped and got those fucking slippers for $4.99 and 2 boot cuffs and they had NO spray on deodorant.  I even asked the attendant to look in the back!  Who does that!!!  Who can go through this type of trauma and just snap into shopping in a second?  When I got back out to the truck my eldest daughter called and said she was in her car around the corner. What, she never leaves her house!!!  My youngest daughter called in her big sister…great! She said she had a pipe, pepper spray and a knife… Who the fuck are these kids?   Before I could even get anything out of my mouth a cop car pulled into Walgreen and I said, the police are here, my eldest daughter said she is turning around and going home.  Thank god!

In the end, the police were amazing and handled my daughter with great understanding. She was not charged due to the road rage being on film by Walgreen camera.  YAY for those video cameras….my daughter might be onto something.  The police officer explained to her how she should not have gotten out of the vehicle and in the future just call 911 and do not engage.

And this is a prime example of why I say the SKY IS FALLING when I talk about my life.  I feel like we are all so mentally ill or suffer from extreme PTSD that it affects every aspect of our lives.

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